Can We Still Really Be friends?
It's the saying most people dread after a break up "We can still be friends..." But the real question is, Can you? After being together for how ever long you were dating, can you really go back to being friends?
It honestly depends on the person you're in a relationship with, if its a good positive relationship it can easily fall back into the same routine you guys had as friends. It's easy if you both a mutual break up because you're ending on good terms and both parties feel that it was time to end things, so its easier to say we were best as just friends. I can easily tell you this works because I've lived through it, my ex Zack and I when we were in High School and we dated for like three months. After the three months were up we both sat down and talked about things, we both agreed that it just wasn't working for us and we were better off as just friends. Honestly it was maybe one of my smartest choices, he and I have remained great friends. See it is possible, it just all depends on the person. Zack and I had a very relaxed friendship before we dated so when it came time for us breaking up we rebooted our friendship and just continued where we left off...Looking back today I really do think we were just better off friends in high school, people's feelings can change its not the end of the world...
When it comes to the other side of relationships sometimes its best for you to not talk to the person for a while. Either one person didnt want to continue the relationship and the other did or there was an obvious reason for the break up. It is hard to be friends right after a bad break up, because of all the problems that could still be fresh in both of your minds. I can offer some ways to get through those moments:
- Take a few days to yourself and analyze everything that happened in your relationship
- Think about IF you wanna see your ex
- Strongly advicing you not to go to mutual friends about what you should do
- They have your best interest but sometimes they will try to push you guys back together when you and your ex know it's probably not the best time for you guys to be around each other
- Putting them in the middle of you and your ex's avoidence of each other can cause friction
- Keep yourself busy
- Don't stay in your room
- Be with your other friends... Spend time with them and try to figure out if you and your ex can put all your problems aside and be friends again.
I'll give you an example of how hard that decision can be...right now I'm going through the same thing with my ex...We were dating for about two and a half years before we broke up. It wasn't the easiest break up I've ever had. We grew apart but at one time we decided we should just be friends, I thought it was going to be like me and Zack, but it wasn't...It started off being a little awkward but it was to be expected we just broke up you know? Well then we stopped talking all together and it hurt because we both wanted to be in the other's life and we always promised to be in the others life no matter what; so months pass and still we avoid each other. Only once have I really seen him since our break up and that was awkward. So for now I'm taking my own advice and keeping myself busy with my own life and not worrying about seeing him. My mom has always told me that if it's meant to be it will be again, and I agree guys, if you and your ex are meant to be in each other's lives then you'll always be in each others life whether its as friends or lovers.
So to answer the first question...Can you be friends with an Ex...yes and no, it again depends on the people in the relationship. You both have to come to terms with the break up before you can decided whether or not it is a good idea to be friends one more time.
I hope this helped in your decision on becoming friends with your ex...
~Brittany